I’ve been slacking with this blog a little lately; I've not really had the motivation to do much of anything lately. I suffer with Seasonal Affective Disorder, so like many I feel blue in winter but this is much more it’s a form of depression. Sometimes the lack of differentiation between these terms ‘January blues’ and ‘depression’ bugs me a little, mental health isn't talked about enough.
I find it really difficult to blog during when my SAD kicks in, and I have to say this year I have been quite lucky and it only started this last month - before it has been October-March which is pretty draining. I have very little energy and the last thing I want to do is get out of bed in the morning, so I have difficulty getting dressed some days let alone in an outfit worthy for the public. This is quite common of depression, and it may not sound so bad to others but day after day is pretty awful.
The very worst it can get for me is when I’m having to explain to my boyfriend that I am not grumpy with him, it’s just that I’m annoyed at myself for having actually woken up from my sleep in the first place. Then I have this torn, mixed sort of feeling of the sadness or complete emptiness making me just wanting to disappear, along with the real me inside somewhere thinking ‘that’s not right, you have plenty to wake up to in the morning and this is just a reaction in your brain making you feel this way’. This mix of feelings of slight madness in wishing I weren't here at all and a more rational get up and just work through it, is what tires me out sometimes.
Some days I can be back to my usual self but I may just be more tired than usual, I’m happy and I can get on with my job then the next day it can be completely different. For that I have to say thank you to my boyfriend for putting up with me being an emotional whirlwind of a character during this time.
With SAD I think I am lucky in that I know that at some point it is going to end and I have the opportunity to do things that will improve my own mood. For others with depression all year through it must be really tough, as for me, knowing that when it gets a little brighter my mood probably will too. For my mood I like to drink lots of water and herbal teas, attempt to get out of the house even if it is just for a walk, eat healthily and stay away from buying lots of junk food as I will just eat it pretty quickly!
I don’t really know what my intention is exactly with this post other than to say that I will be back to blogging more regularly next month hopefully! I thought I would explain why I may disappear for a little while and if anything this has been quite therapeutic to write.
Now for my aims for this blog next month are to firstly get back to my regular outfit posts, I want to try out Youtube again and finally start back with my street style posts (though that one may have to wait until the weather is a touch warmer). It would be great if any of my regular readers are reading this right now and could let me know what types of posts you enjoy reading of mine, for example I haven’t done a ‘Ways to Wear’ in forever!
If you have reached the end of this post, I congratulate you as it was pretty long and I’m not sure it makes all that much sense or at least in an articulate manner. Thank you for reading and I will hopefully be back next month with something a little less intense – or maybe sooner as my New Years eve outfit has not graced the pages of this blog yet.